RiceCracker

08:48 pm - SAWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!

if anyone knows Anthony Russitano (ill feel bad when i realize how to really spell his name.) then they should know that he is the greatest!!! he took us to his house to talk to his mom today and we are moving into their house tomorrow. their house is very nice and they are so cool. thats the biggest news ever. but i gotta go. Cya!!!

Current Mood: anxious

08:31 pm - wazzzzzaaaaaa....NO.

hey is anyone there? anyone ever read these ever anymore? i feel dumb to write in them and not get a response EVER. i guess i do it for myself.... i dunno, maybe everyone ran over to myspace or something.

well anyhoo, its Bryce's Brother's b-day and we're at his mom's house. ive been here since 5something i think in the morning. just chillin. working with Bryce's mom is like, the most fun job ever. i love hanging out with her so much. she really inspires me to live. not the way bryce does... but, to live purposely i guess.

i got his bro a Hawthorne Heights jacket... i was worried he wouldnt like it because i dont know how much he likes them and i found out that his mom already bought him a jacket the day before from Pacsun i think. he's a skaterkid btw. turns out i think he loved the jacket. he threw it on and i havent seen him without it on... its not even that cold in the house so YAAY!!! i did good.

you should hear what im getting Bryce for Christmas... its... nah, i can put it on the internet. he might find out or something. and this is the BIGGEST secret i have ever kept! im not good at keeping secrets. thats why at school everyone knew who i liked the next day I found out i liked them. even though i didnt think it was too bad if someone you liked thought you liked them... i get so carried away...

ive got a job tomorrow at Ga Tech. the main lady at my modeling agency called me personally and asked if i would do some promotional work for her. heck yeah!!! a way to prove myself to her. teh only problem is that i dont exactly know what im going to be doing... i know that its for geico. everyone ive talked to about it tell me to just be very outgoing. weird how they ALL say that. they sound like rapists or something. lol. scAaRY.

Bryce and i are GREAT! did i mention that i love his mom? well, i do! i hope everyone is having so much fun without me. man i miss everyone. do you ever wish you could wake up tomorrow and go to school two years ago with what you know today? i would have hung out with my friends more. the problem WAS though... i never really thought people were my friends until bryce and i talked about so much stuff. i always thought that i was some cruel joke to behind EVERYONE's back. i dunno. i feel so dumb now for it. i thought Johnny felt sorry for me. i thought Katie thought i was weird and not funny. i knew terri was my friend but i could never understand why... i remember taking up for her on the bus everyday partially because i wanted to kick some girl's asses. everyone thinks im so weird and confusing and they hate me... then they become my friends. i dont know if ive ever been like that to someone i didnt understand. i feel like (most of all, though) that everyone got so damn close... and then split up so quickly. like we were particles brought together just for exploding. eh...

i feel as though... like my seemingly useless ramblings... everyone has still conformed me into someone better than i couldve become myself.

.......................THANK YOU SO MUCH....................................

Current Mood: distressed

04:44 pm - I love Jennifer!!! She so cooooooo!!!

Hey everyone, whats up? i was lookin at Johnny's pictures and i remembered that i have some toooooo. even though Johnny's are way better.

I miss Bryce soooo much, but im having fun here with Michale and Jennifer. Theyre so cool and fun and nice. It makes me wonder what happened to my sister Lisa. she must be related to the mailman. everyone else in our family is very nice, open-minded and generous... she thinks shes GOD and the world revolves around her. i feel so awful when im around her. she puts me down for being skinny because she thinks shes fat. "im sorry i cant drink alcohol every day and i didnt do drugs when i was younger, and i just sit around moping about my weight..." i would like to say that i am so skinny because im healthy and eat right.... but that is far from the truth. i try not to drink sodas unless they are the only thing do drink. but im pretty sure i couldnt get fat if i wanted to. we never have food at home. i dont even go into my kitchen because it is so.... yuck, anyways, so i have to go buy food from Walmart to last the week in my little room fridge, or eat out at micky d's and taco bell. Wendy's too, i usually have two fifty for food each day. splitting a five with Bryce. i eat once a day if that. im not complaining though. i stay at my house for free in my tiny room. tiny... but my sanity's kept in there so its great. tiny bed means being held by Bryce until i wake up in the morning, which is awesome. when im ever hungry and im broke, and i wont be able to eat anything for a while, i sleep, so my body doesnt bother me. Please dont get me wrong, im not complaining. i am so grateful to have everything that i do. and im soooo happy just having Bryce. i love him so much!

i just wish my sister wouldnt be so mean to me. I dont plan on coming to visit her for a while. i need to get my modeling on track so i can busy myself and not worry about it. im just waiting for my pictures to come in... sigh.

i miss all of my friends. school too because i miss coming in in the morning and everyone just being there and us all together having fun. have you ever felt like, you like certain people alot and think they are such cool friends and you miss hanging out with them but then you dont know if they think of YOU as a friend? i never know. heres my list of Friends... Jennifer, Aki, Johnny, IV, Tony, Kris, Aaron, Jason, Gorman, Jake, Eric, Jared, Courtney, Matt, Foster, Michale, Chris, Andrew, Stone and of course BRYCE. just thinking of my head so its not in any order and i cant think much at the moment. im so hungry.

I love staying at Jennifer's house!

here are some pics of me, bryce, and Stone's Vacation.


I had so much fun!!!




Stone got BUUUUUURNTT!


The fun crowd!


I love Nicholas!!!


I miss my sleepyhead!


Dawwwwww!


I miss him looking at me with THAT look!


I love my Mommy!!!


See? my sister ain't THAT bad.

Current Mood: chipper

11:42 pm

hey everyone. whats up?

im in north carolina right now and i miss Bryce so much that im so sad and i cant have much fun. im gonna cry... hes in statesboro visiting sarah his best friend and i miss him SO MUCH!!! i gotta go now, i cant think straight without him.... bye bye.

Current Mood: anxious

03:33 pm - quick update on alot!!!

*(1)* heres things that have happened recently that you may have missed. i went to the Megadeth concert and MET them. I met Dave Mustaine!!! i was like "IloveyouDave!!!" and he goes, "are sure about that?" but he was smiling like coming on to me and it kinda freaked me out. lol. so i was like "you're the man!" and i ran away and they signed my new cd. the show ROCKED!!! i was standing as close to the stage as you could. i caught the new bass player's pick too. Bryce likes them now.

*(2)* our banmd was practicing at Aaron and Jason's house and the neighbors called the police on us about 4 times and we got 295$ tickets. and we gotta go to court, but we just got the dispatch tape that has the neighbors recorded calling to report us, and it turns out that they have been using us to try and get Jason (who owns the house) in trouble with his kids so his ex-wife can get the kids from him... (the ex-wife works as dispatch) hahaha. booya!

*(3)* i should be graduating from modeling and acting august 20th and i got my modeling pictures done. maybe i can somehow post them sometime.

*(4)* i love Bryce... wait thats not new. muahahaha. bye everyone i miss ya.

Current Mood: sleepy

04:12 pm - Life is good!!! and... bad.... but good too....

ive started going to my modeling classes at John Casablancas and its really really fun. every other saturday i go from 10 to 5 and i learn about makeup and walking down the runway. i was learning tips on getting rid of eye puffyness when my phone rang, and i cut it off. but then i realized that the ring tone was bryce and he'd just dropped me off, so i started shaking and getting freaked out. i thought he mightve got into a car accident. so i called him back and it turns out that he is okay but my guitarist Aaron got into one and now he might need surgery on his legs because he mightve damaged some nerves. he is sooooooooo happy about the whole totaling his new car thibng... but i think its because he has a new outlook on life and he says "Im on this earth for a reason" hes needed here. i coulda told him that. bryce is living at my house with me until i get a good job. then we should be moving into the apartments near there. i gotta go hang out with Aki now. i need to stop wasting time. cyas luv ya!

Current Mood: chipper

05:19 pm

that would be me now.

how is everyone? i promised Bryce i wouldn't update and stuff on here but i told him i aint sweatin anything anyone negative has to say. so he said alrighty and here i am. i havent had access to a computer anyhoo. i miss everyone so much!!! i found my old notes and read them out loud to Bryce and myself. they were from Aki, Johnny, and Katie. i had a note from Tony i think but i cant find it at all. sucks butt! it made me kinda sad though because im not at school so no more notes to and fro.

i hung out with mike and IV the other day though it was so great to talk to Iv and stuff again. we called Falisha up and had her on my speaker phone so we could both chat with her. she sounds really cool and nice. IV got addicted to my kitten. he wanted the one that was all black. the cutest.

my band is doing really well, we changed it up one day and instead of me on bass and Bryce singing, we decided to switch places. It was just for a song we're covering called 45 by Shinedown. they made me sing and it was sooooooooo AWESOME!!! i loved singing!!! but... i think they liked me too much because they want me to be the singer now and bryce on bass. i think we should just switch around all the time. just like when we switch our instruments for different songs.

my sister said we could play at where she works down in Jacksonville. we need a good demo though. she just moved into an apartment right on the beach since her boyfriend was caught cheating. i miss Nicholas!!! anyhoo, Bryce and I are doing awesome. he just got his license, but he needs to work up about 1200 bucks to pay for some tax thing and insurance for his truck. so, he might be driving in three weeks. im gonna go look up some band tour info now. cya!!! i love you guys!!! Hi Johnny!!! Hi IV!!! Hi Aki!!! Hi Tony!!! HI EVERYBODY!!!!! k, gotta go!


I LOVE BRYCE!!!

Current Mood: giddy

05:29 pm - i feel like shit.

i shouldnt really give a fuck, but i cant help it when people tell me things that they dont know anything about. its actually pretty funny but i cant help feeling freaked out since i dont know who it is. ah well, no biggie.

Mikey, Jenn, and I are gonna watch Elf and Blair Witch tonight. i dunno what else but either way, we could do nothing and its still pretty fun here. Jenn's really nice and cool. she's funny too. her family is nice. her brother is METAL so thats cool. he showed me his pictures with Peter Steele, the chic singer from Lacuna Coil, and Cradle of Filth. he likes Invader Zim too thats cool. i showed him some Squee, NNY, and Filler Bunny. he didnt know that Jhonen Vasquez did those comics.

its fun here. i didnt really think that Jenn lived this close to the beach. i guess Mike didnt exaggerate after all. its sucks though because its cold. really cold. oh well, Goulet! im gonna go, im a little pissed and im gonna call Roy to talk. byee!

Current Mood: crushed

05:44 pm - Change is ScArY!!! ..... especially quarters ..... *shudders*

no really though, change is the scariest thing in the world because things happen and you never really know what will make you happy when making decisions. but when you make what you think is the right choice, you can only try to be happy, and things turn out to be right on track and you dont have to kick yourself. as long as you choose to follow your heart instead of your head. i think its because no matter what, if something goes wrong your heart will always hurt more than you head can. anyhoo!

im sitting at Jenn's computer. yep Mikey's Girlfriend. i came to North Carolina with him to hang out and relax. things have been crazy. i dont really give a shit for all the rumors and talk that have been going around about me and Roy. because lately people have been talking about stuff that they dont know the whole story of. its no one's business what went on but us three and we are okay with everything now so dont get into it. we talked and everything is fine.

lately ive joined a band and things have changed immensely. Bryce is my singer. some idiot came into the practice room and embedded the name Jason into the back of my four string. jason strong was the last bass player. well i havent told my step dad becauise he will kill someone so keep it on the DL to the asians. lol jk. anyhoo, someone also screwed up the intonation on the new five string that the band bought for me. everything went crazy and now i dont know what is gonna happen with our band. but no matter what, im still playing bass. i want to go get the five string fixed. "HEY GORMAN, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD SHOW ME HOW TO FIX IT?" its sucks because i just got it and it felt so awesome i could have an orgasm, now it sucks monkey balls. oh well i still love it, just need to fix it. im gonna go call Roy. bye everyone. ttyl.

Current Mood: happy

11:38 pm - OMG!! HALO IS AWEEEEEZOOOMMME!!!!!

I JUST PLAYED SOME HALO AND WAS FEELING BAD BUT I JUST KICKED SOME BUTT. WOO! i like it now. i played for my second time and tied with Roy and killed Chris. im at Levi's house with his sis, Roy, and Chris, and Mike and Tony are coming over to play and stuff. cooooooo. burnout 3 is REALLY fun too. and crimson skies i think its called is really awesome. well, im gonna go watch. bye byeee!!!

Current Mood: accomplished

07:18 am - sigh..............

i have had a lot of things remind me of Aki lately. i miss her more than ever. i miss having someone to be stupid with. having someone to be smart with. having someone with the same sense of humor. and someone to bitch to when i feel like. i also miss listening to and sharing secrets. yep... i miss Aki. i just thought id update even though there is nothing i can do.

things have been okay. okay with life i mean, and AWESOME with Roy. i have so much time to think since Roy is alwas practicing either with Legion X or with Levi McPhetridge and Chris Stone in their cover band. also i finally finished my 400 question test to get my high school diploma. i hope it will come soon, im so anxious.

right now im in the dark at Roy's sister Amanda's house while everyone is asleep. i couldnt sleep at first so i decided to go online since i can for once so i can look up the things i want to get Roy for Christmas. Brainstorming here's what ive got for ideas:

1. Children of Bodom:trashed, lost, and strung out
2. Dream Theater:When Dream and Day Unite
3. Arch Enemy:Wages of Sin
4. the Children of Bodom green Hatebreeder T-shirt
5. A cd slower-downer thingamajig he wants

its too late/early, i cant remeber what else i was thinking of.

ah well. in counting, we have been going out for 1-year,3-months,6-days,and a few hours and minutes and seconds and stuff. coo. i love him so much if you cant tell. we went to a GAWN show the other day and i was mad at Roy and Amanda because Roy said he was gonna go eat and come back and get me so i could go take a shower and get ready. they left and came back 4 hours later. they went all the way to the mall and ate and then shopped for a while. i was starving by then but we were broke and had no money for even waffle house near breakers. but i cant stay mad at Roy and thats a great thing because i didnt want to be a Fuddy-Duddy at their show. i love seeing Gawn, i love how their setlist is set up. hehe. it seems like they draw you in and then get all heavy and rock out and you're like "awesome" and then theyre like "bye!" and you're like crap! its over now i have to go see them again!!!

anyhoo, i need to go and get into my hottie's arms because i just realized that this is one night that i get to sleep with him close to me and im typing in a gay ol' livejournal. i must be dumb. Cya! I'll be back...

Current Mood: awake

01:13 am - in case this was too awful for anyone to read before.....

HERE'S THE OL' BATTLE WITH IV.

Wu Blaza: you wanna battle now O.o!?!!
Wu Blaza: is thqat what you sayinO.O!?!
RiceCrackerChic5: you wanna battle
RiceCrackerChic5: you
RiceCrackerChic5: you wanna battle?
RiceCrackerChic5: you
RiceCrackerChic5: you wanna battle?
RiceCrackerChic5: you
RiceCrackerChic5: you must be craxy
Wu Blaza: lol
RiceCrackerChic5: yes
Wu Blaza: aiiight deen:P
Wu Blaza: you start
RiceCrackerChic5: what? no
RiceCrackerChic5: i havent in forever you start
Wu Blaza: scared8-)
RiceCrackerChic5: mmmmmmmmmmmm. yes
RiceCrackerChic5: lol
Wu Blaza: lol
RiceCrackerChic5: ::shakes::
RiceCrackerChic5: hahahaha
RiceCrackerChic5: no
Wu Blaza: I gotta be motivated to battle:P
RiceCrackerChic5: okok
RiceCrackerChic5: gimme a minute
Wu Blaza: k
RiceCrackerChic5: hick fight happinin down the street, i dunno how but ive found the beat... startin out loud as i draw a crowd, or a cloud of dust, and IV must, come out clear, as i draw near, ill make even your momma fear
Wu Blaza: you grab the mic and leave me straight caring less, you scare my mom but I'mma leave you straight parentless,I crack ya jaw and test your mental stamina, you know when you rap people think you from alabama man, you know what I think you ain't got much, when you step to the mic you better stand straight and don't blush, oh wait, I forgot you just a girl, like alice in wonder land you stuck in another world
RiceCrackerChic5: oooohhhh shiiiiz...... I take it back and slap the black off your face, now all you are is a big disgrace, as if you werent before, i throw you down on the floor, cover up your face the pace is too fast you just wont last.... what? linkin park dont come into this, me an IV battlin and he gonna miss, ima shoot em down lemme get my gak, you better get outt town.... here ill help you pack
Wu Blaza: you think you battlin but I'm callin you wack/I un-rap you worse than turbans hit by bombs in Iraq, you say you gonna go get ya gak then pick a color, Mean while don't get stuck by this ill brotha, lemme tell you if memories equaled inches, I'd run you through with my dick, but either way you gettin fawked when you hear me spit,you slap the black off my face, so now you think i'm slow?/i might be raceless, but i'm quick enough to beat ya ho
RiceCrackerChic5: ooooh.... centa inches dont count but ill give ya a chance, as i step into this battlin stance, go eat your watermelon boi cuz im layin it down, cant you hear the sound?, oh no i stuck that chopstick deep in your ear, now im guessin... that you cant hear, cuz your either so off beat, or your beatin your meat, get those tweezrs outta here and continue watchin your defeat!
Wu Blaza: you say you been layin it down but they found you belly up,Chop sticks aint nothing to a brotha cut you like em up the butt, you say I beat my meat, when it's really ya motha, you know that noise outside ya window at night, that was Digi Tek, War child like a theif with a knife, but me I just been waitin on the right time to strike, but the thing that gets me is why you so worried about my meat? get off my dick now and go jump on a tree, but wait I forgot you as big as a tunnel, maybe if you free willy he'll fill you like a funnel, basically you like a dog in heat so you need to stop trippin and watch yo self before you get defeat
RiceCrackerChic5: psht! not a chance in h*** .... what the h*** is that smell? aw you s*** your pants? and everything was well... if there's a toilet get on it, because i aint done with my sonnet, you kinda hooked on phonics, either that or ebonics, but either way its cronic, i drink your ryhmes in like a tonic, they fly around my head like a bonnet....... oh no my moms callin me....... whtever it is i havent done it
Wu Blaza: I'm takin the world by storm when I trasform, arm arm, legga legga, head watch me transform, Like Voltron, I make you say HO! when The sword of omens hits home, you can crack my dome, but you cant break my spirit, far as that smell goes thats yo breath when you try to spit,I ain't scared , you ain't that slick, when you rhyme it makes me sick, thats why I need to assasinate you with fatal flyin sharp S***

Current Mood: blah

01:06 am - this is the only thing that im ever up to...

Current Mood: blah

01:29 am - an old battle with IV!!!

Wu Blaza: you wanna battle now O.o!?!!
Wu Blaza: is thqat what you sayinO.O!?!
RiceCrackerChic5: you wanna battle
RiceCrackerChic5: you
RiceCrackerChic5: you wanna battle?
RiceCrackerChic5: you
RiceCrackerChic5: you wanna battle?
RiceCrackerChic5: you
RiceCrackerChic5: you must be craxy
Wu Blaza: lol
RiceCrackerChic5: yes
Wu Blaza: aiiight deen:P
Wu Blaza: you start
RiceCrackerChic5: what? no
RiceCrackerChic5: i havent in forever you start
Wu Blaza: scared8-)
RiceCrackerChic5: mmmmmmmmmmmm. yes
RiceCrackerChic5: lol
Wu Blaza: lol
RiceCrackerChic5: ::shakes::
RiceCrackerChic5: hahahaha
RiceCrackerChic5: no
Wu Blaza: I gotta be motivated to battle:P
RiceCrackerChic5: okok
RiceCrackerChic5: gimme a minute
Wu Blaza: k
RiceCrackerChic5: hick fight happinin down the street, i dunno how but ive found the beat... startin out loud as i draw a crowd, or a cloud of dust, and IV must, come out clear, as i draw near, ill make even your momma fear
Wu Blaza: you grab the mic and leave me straight caring less, you scare my mom but I'mma leave you straight parentless,I crack ya jaw and test your mental stamina, you know when you rap people think you from alabama man, you know what I think you ain't got much, when you step to the mic you better stand straight and don't blush, oh wait, I forgot you just a girl, like alice in wonder land you stuck in another world
RiceCrackerChic5: oooohhhh shiiiiz...... I take it back and slap the black off your face, now all you are is a big disgrace, as if you werent before, i throw you down on the floor, cover up your face the pace is too fast you just wont last.... what? linkin park dont come into this, me an IV battlin and he gonna miss, ima shoot em down lemme get my gak, you better get outt town.... here ill help you pack
Wu Blaza: you think you battlin but I'm callin you wack/I un-rap you worse than turbans hit by bombs in Iraq, you say you gonna go get ya gak then pick a color, Mean while don't get stuck by this ill brotha, lemme tell you if memories equaled inches, I'd run you through with my dick, but either way you gettin fawked when you hear me spit,you slap the black off my face, so now you think i'm slow?/i might be raceless, but i'm quick enough to beat ya ho RiceCrackerChic5: ooooh.... centa inches dont count but ill give ya a chance, as i step into this battlin stance, go eat your watermelon boi cuz im layin it down, cant you hear the sound?, oh no i stuck that chopstick deep in your ear, now im guessin... that you cant hear, cuz your either so off beat, or your beatin your meat, get those tweezrs outta here and continue watchin your defeat!
Wu Blaza: you say you been layin it down but they found you belly up,Chop sticks aint nothing to a brotha cut you like em up the butt, you say I beat my meat, when it's really ya motha, you know that noise outside ya window at night, that was Digi Tek, War child like a theif with a knife, but me I just been waitin on the right time to strike, but the thing that gets me is why you so worried about my meat? get off my dick now and go jump on a tree, but wait I forgot you as big as a tunnel, maybe if you free willy he'll fill you like a funnel, basically you like a dog in heat so you need to stop trippin and watch yo self before you get defeat
RiceCrackerChic5: psht! not a chance in h*** .... what the h*** is that smell? aw you s*** your pants? and everything was well... if there's a toilet get on it, because i aint done with my sonnet, you kinda hooked on phonics, either that or ebonics, but either way its cronic, i drink your ryhmes in like a tonic, they fly around my head like a bonnet....... oh no my moms callin me....... whtever it is i havent done it
Wu Blaza: I'm takin the world by storm when I trasform, arm arm, legga legga, head watch me transform, Like Voltron, I make you say HO! when The sword of omens hits home, you can crack my dome, but you cant break my spirit, far as that smell goes thats yo breath when you try to spit,I ain't scared , you ain't that slick, when you rhyme it makes me sick, thats why I need to assasinate you with fatal flyin sharp S***

Current Mood: aggravated

01:42 am - its a small world aaaafter alll!!!

well yesterday i went out with Roy and Levi to a Blue's thingy dingy and i had no clue that other people were going too. so we stopped over at Levi's friend's house and a dude was there with a chick and her dude. and we were still waiting for their friends to come. so we waited while we looked on www.rotten.com and Levi played the dude's gee-tar. the dude's friends get there and im sitting with my back to the door thinking woo im excited lets go, and i look up and see one of the friends come into the room. i was thinking, "hmmm that dude looks like mike and choney's friend Dusty. so i turn around and see who he's with and i find out it HAS to be that Dusty dude...

cuz Tony and Danielle were behind him. how great is that? really really. i wish we didnt sit so far from them cuz i wanted to chat with them but the other people chose the seating. sucks, but the blue's folks were cool. the drummer was awezome.

my aunt is in town. she is so funny. she is loaded too and so Roy would believe me, i told him that she would give me money when i go see her. well he came with me and she gave me 50 bucks. shes cool. she thinks we forget who our cousins are and reminds me that one is her youngest daughter, im like, i know, shes the mean one who acts like my sister.

anyhoo, willie hung out with her for a while and told me that shes gonna pay off the mortgage to our old house so we can sell it. she says its so (us)the kids wont have to worry about it and we can go back into school. willie said that she wants to pay for us to go to school too. to go to AIM its about 10,000 dollars and she will pay it for me. and that would be awesommmmmmmmmmmme!

gotsta go!

oh yeah and since people should be invited, Tony, Danielle, Kris, IV, Michale, Johnny, Eric(lol, you already know but eh...) YOU'S GUYS ARE VERY MUCH WELCOME TO COME AND I HOPE YOU DO, AND IM INVITING YOU GUYS TO THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME PARTY SHOW AT BREAKERS ON THE 29TH OF OCTOBER FEATURING GAWN, LEGION X, AND MORE!!!!!

anyone else i forgot too. of course. its gonna be so fun! there's even catering. yum.

Current Mood: anxious

11:16 pm - crappity poopidy poo!

my mom called last night while me, roy, and willie were playing pluck. she broke down and needed me to get someone like mike or erik to get her. i got chewed out by my stepdad and i didnt even do anything wrong. he yelled at me and called me crazy and all this crap because i wasnt at my house yet looking for mike or someone. (i had just freakin gotten the call from my mom.) we were all mad enough to sit there and let my mom wait out in the cold but i dont have the heart to let anyone go through that so i went to look. i didnt find no one, so we went and got willie's friend's mom to give her a ride. she talks so bad about us and treats us so bad. if it werent for willie she wouldnt have had a ride. and without me, who would she call. but we dont need anything in return. we're just being the good kids we try to be. we dont try too hard but its a little pointless to with my mom.

what ever
anyways i have been debating on what im going to be for the Legion X / GAWN costume party show for the 29th. but, i have narrowed it down to two things. One is the grim reaper, which i told Roy to be since it goes along with the Children Of Bodom theme hehe, but he said no, so i might do it. i want to get this awesome black corset and i could wear that with a reaper robe or black cape for fun.
And Two is Jill Valentine from Resident Evil. even though i have longer hair it doesnt matter. all i would need is a blue cool tube top, and a short black skirt. i already have cool boots. maybe a fake gun too.

itd be cool to be dizzy from that video game that i cant think of at the moment but i dont think anyone would know whoi was. hehe. ah well, Luke and Chris just left so i think im gonna go spend some awesome time with Roy... or non-awesome it doesnt matter. hehe. byeeeeeeeeeee~peaceout bro!

Current Mood: complacent

12:27 am - Getting on with the life of a PsYcHo.....

well kimmy the homicidal maniac is back. ive been reading a couple too many comic books lately, so nvm about that. sigh. i feel much much better.

here are the comic books i have come across lately: Johnny The Homicidal Maniac, Squee, Lenore(Mikey likes this one), Outlook:Grim, I Feel Sick, and some stupid comic i dont like very much. OH YEAH! also, there's "Nightmares and Fairy Tales" if you like anime pics then you might like this. i think it is awesome.

just something in my head at the moment. so anyways i finally got back home to my Hottie and we have had so much fun. when i got back we went to a friend named Joe's house with Kyle Vickers and we ate awesome hamburgers and watched "Walking Tall" with the Rock. WE WATCHED THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN MAYBE IN MY LIFE. ok maybe it wasnt that great but OMG it was HILarIOUS! it was some thing that Joe got ordered online. it was a dvd that some guys got together and made where they got images from HALO and gave the guys voices. its like watching a show. its so freaking funny. rare things in life make me laugh. like Michale's face, yeah, you ever seen Michale's face? its funny like that! im jk mikey i love shoo! but im gonna try and get it burnt so you cant watch it with me. dont watch it without me. i really wanna watch it with you.

we got to Roy's after that and me an Roy watched CSI and hung out til we got tired. i was gonna walk home by myself since Roy was so tired but he walked me outside and then told me he had to walk me the whole way home since he didnt feel it was safe to let me go by myself. i was so freakin grateful because it was all misty dark and foggy that night.

today we went shopping with his sister and went to Mediaplay. we went and got Eric and went to her apartment and watched "5o First Dates" and ordered a pizza. i hid a cd at mediaplay so Roy wouldnt see since im gonna buy it for him. "Cradle of Filth:Bitter Suites to Succubi" i just found out about a new Children of Bodom EP from a magazine. (Roy got so excited when i told/showed him about it that he patted me and said awesome and i fell over onto the lower part of the magazine stand.) haha. anything for my baby. so im gonna buy that for him too. October 10th! woo!

i really need to save/getsome money for the COB show as it is though. but my stepdad owes me money for the work i did. he couldnt pay me all since my mom's car was leaking antifreeze INTO THE CAR!!! and that was A LITTLE important to fix so we could get back home. especially without antifreeze on my leg. hehe. but ive gotta get. so have fun people and i hope i get to school sometime. missing a whole week just makes my stomach feel werid. lol byeee.

P.S.:dunno if anyone cares but i finally got the best dress ive ever seen in my life and will be wearing it on the first solo date me an Roy go on in a while. yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssah!

Current Mood: chipper

10:10 pm

hello, if there is anyone who reads this.

its pretty funny that Terri always makes everyone out to be evil and against her and the bad one. im not the bitch shes made me out to be. "i dont need friends like that" mmhmm. honestly i cant keep something under for too long. its not so much as i have been ignoring her. please. i barely talk to anyone online anymore. especially when im with Roy. im not complaining. i mean im usually online at his house. id rather be chillin with my Hottie than getting addicted to the internet.

but back to this, well I dont know if i can handle having HER as a friend anymore. are ya happy now Terri? this something for ya? finally some words? well, we USED TO have a great friendship. but i dont know where it went. maybe with your relationship with Anpoo i dunno. you didnt care about being my friend then did you? i didnt go whining and making you look like the bad guy. actually i figured, hey whatever maybe our friendship didnt mean as much to her as it did to me. i tried to come up with some reason even making myself the bad guy. maybe i did something or said something. maybe im just to boring or stupid to keep up with your quick wittiness. haha. anyhow i tried to act like it didnt bother me. but i guess it wasnt working because id barely knew Roy and he could see this. he asked me about it and i always defended you but wondered why. why didnt you think about someone besides yourself? i didnt know how selfish you were until you were with Andrew. you kissed Tim, who's the first person you call? me, i couldn't have been more grateful to help you get your head straight and make you feel better. it just so happened to be around the time that Roy was going out with another girl and i was as bummed as i had ever been in my life... you may not think that is much, but there is ALOT that you dont know about me. have you ever had to sit and listen to your oldest brother drunkenly beat his girlfriend... the mother of his two children... while you were supposed to sit and play 007 goldeneye in the next room and act like it was nothing? well anyways, bummed out of my mind. i couldnt stop thinking of everything. i had to draw a picture i knew i could never draw in my lifetime just to get focused on something. i didnt whine about Roy. well, you called whining to me, as a good friend i told you not to worry, to get your head straight and before any more time passed tell him first thing. so he knows and you guys can work it out. i was trying to be the best friend i could be. not judging what your actions were, and do you remember what you said to me?

"nevermind kim, you wouldn't understand, you didnt even DO ANYTHING with Roy yet, you dont know how it is." and you let me go. i coulndt believe it. i never said anything to you about it. i never complained about you to anyone til your actions got so old i coulndt stand it. i wrote it in my diary and cried and got over it. i have so many of these stories i wouldnt want to booooore you though. your so dramatic. calm down once in a while.

maybe the point there was that i have watched you or listened to you whine about the tiniest things possible to get somebody to feel sorry for you. its never worked on me. from all i have experienced all ive seen i couldnt feel sorry for anything you said. usually it was something youd brought upon yourself. i never said any of this. i was brought up to keep things hidden. keeping things quiet. i HATE when people whine about the tinyest things. things could be worse. so why dont you save your whining, bitching, and moaning for a time when things, are really bad. please.

i have come back to you, you have come back to me. same repititions, i shouldnt have sometimes but i felt so bad for you and wanted to help. especially when i heard about you and Andrew, i wanted to make you feel better. i brought you into our days. me and my friends of now that is. and sure we had fun, until you felt you had you make me look stupid in front of them, make me mad, make me seem like the baby. online one person, in real life another is what you are. your there when you want something, your not when i need you. i cant keep this up. so many times i wanted to talk to you lately but couldnt. Roy told me not to, not to put him in any of this but, he did that im betting because he knows all this that i feel and maybe he wanted to spare you the hurt feelings. but i cant sit here while you call me a bad friend or say YOU dont need friends like ME. i dont know who couldve been there for you more. brushing off the occassional kick to the mentality or spirit or even the ego. but im sorry you couldnt see past yourself.

P.S.: the bad things you said about Roy's sister? well, we are the same size, so we have figured that the bad stuff you were thinking about her have to be about me too. i really appreciate it. you're not as fat as your brain makes you think you are. so dont bring everyone else down with you. think about how funny you are and how much everyone likes your enthusiastic stories and comments and maybe youll appreciate yourself once in a while. some of us have.

later.

Current Mood: infuriated

11:51 pm

hello hello.

well ive been in Valdosta helping even though i cant help as much as much as Mikey. but i will try. i came here yesterday early in the morning and helped all night and watched... dont laugh "mean girls". i actually liked that movie ALOT. being here without Roy, the only thing i felt like doing without him is watching a movie he wouldnt want to see. i went home today and got there at 2:00 PM. my mom had to go to work. i went to Roy's after a long and relaxing shower and he got there soon for a shower since he came home dirty and sexy from work. hehe. i got to give him a hug and talk to him and just be in the same room with him for about 15 minutes and then i had to leave and go back to Valdosta. i miss my Hottie so freaky deaking much. i cant WAIT til tomorrow. i will finally see him. well, my stepdad is waiting and i have to go so i can go home and kiss my Hottie maybe or at least get a hug. hehehe. man...

anyways, i am done and i will update another time. til then Aaaaaadoooooooooo! or... Adieu.

Current Mood: lonely

06:40 am - Friday

putting the days up first like that reminds me a little of the shining. maybe cuz im thinking all scary-like and junk cuz im all alone on Roy's computer spending the night while Roy is laying in his bed in his room sleeping where i cant have him. yeah... maaaaybeee... so... im at Friday alas.
i handed out all of my MILLION flyers thursday i usually dont tell Roy about my progress with the handouts and invites because its not good to get the hottie's hopes up for nothing, but ALL of my flyers, i HAD to tell him. because alot of people will come... wont they?

yeah sure kid whatever, so, friday i missed school and went to Roy's and had a beeeyoooteeefooool nap in his arms which isnt allowed here but im a bad girl rule breaker.. heh.. so.. we were so freakin excited. we got online and were chatting with people and, btw i forgot to add this to thursday too, but we IMed Terri and usually shes the one who ims us or something and shes very talkative so this is weird that she didnt reply. i was worried when we kept asking ..."hey, talk to me, are you there?" just to see her sign off 5 mintues later. well i was pretty mad on friday about it though. we knew, because she told us before about needing a ride to Legion X maybe, well friday the same thing happened when we IMed Roy was this time, he was so pissed because we were trying to tell her that we'd got her a ride and she would actually be riding with us. we waited for a response or call when she got off but none came. took some time out of our getting to the Masquerade.

ill cut straight to it. i was PISSED that so many people didn't show. to be let down by so many people. i know how it feels for Roy because being in chorus for seven having no one to come see you perform, and even finding a ride to the show and back. a few times my family WOULD show, but they would wait in the car til it was over. the girls in chorus were bitches. i would rather walk home than ride with them so they could take me home and even make fun of either where i live or my family. i have always wanted to be a singer but now i cant even be in chorus because of lack of rides and friends made my teacher decide that maybe i wasnt "DEDICATED" enough. bull shit. who knew all the music, words, dynamics, theory and everything behind it? who kept the girls next to them from singing out of tune or key by singing extra loud. dont get me started on diction. one girl thought she was the countryist son-of-a-bitch alive! i heard her plenty of times after class talking normal. *sigh* i love to get off track. this is how my mind works, in case anyone ever wonders why im so irrelevant at times. its great.

so, that night was horrible because there were these three sluts ther and one of them (roy tells me) looked EXACTLY like his ex Amy. ******shudders****** i hate that name. makes me want to hit myself in the head. or better yet it makes me want to jump into a SLAYER moshpit. woo. i HATE that name. it kills me. so anyways. after they left i actually had a GREAT time. after the pounding-your-heart-out-and-beating-ass-metal that the guys of Legion X had dished out we (a group of true LX fans and just great people all-around) went to the Waffle House but of course. i didnt want the night to end so soon since it had gotten fun late and so i practically (okay literally) begged people to come with us back to Roy's house to chill and all watch Resident Evil together. GOD I LOVE RESIDENT EVIL. (geek moment over, dont worry) well letsee if i can remember the AWESOME people who came and were there. the hilarious Josh Gorman and bro, their drummer, Roy's sister, Michale my bro anlong with Wille, Eric Overby, Roy, and I. it was great. it was funny how Eric was sitting in front of the air conditioner (about 2 inches or less distance away from his back) and everyone was complaing how cold they were and he didnt want it off. Also, the Many dancing styles of Josh. by the way josh, if you read this, i dont know if i have ever heard Roy laugh that hard besides when Peter Steele grabbed his leg and made doggy grrr"s. good job. hahaha. Another funny thing of the night was the fact that Roy didn't seem to want to put his guitar down after the show at his house. he even held it through some of the movie til i took it from him.

i think i may skip the other days. Roy and i have just been hanging out with his sister Amanda all week and going alot of places. Roy's been driving around in her car for practice. we have been swimming at her apartment pool with my bro willie and her son Trey. we went to lil'5 the other day and Terri called. i left my phone in the car so i could go into junkman's daughter and try on some things without the worry of leaving it behind somewhere. we tried on some cool corsets and stuff but they arent as pretty on ya if you lack in the boob area. Amanda kept cheering me up about it since we're about the same body type. she is really cool and alot different than i thought she was. my ex-bestfriend Dolly also called while i was at lil'5. i thought it was the wierdest thing to actually get calls, AND from them. i couldnt call back because it wouldve been rude because we hung out all night. well here i am at Roy's house, in his Den, on his computer, getting very very sleepy while he ZZZ's away. i love him so much and with all my heart and more than anything i have ever loved in the world. and i wish i could sleep with him. stop thinking dirty i mean literally. im not allowed to unless we get away with a nap. but im spending the night for the second time because my bro is. but he left and i cant go home and im worried about spending the night without him since im not supposed to. ill just go in and sleep on the floor when im ready i guess. he has to work in the morning. oh and my bro Willie left because of a stupid trailor park trash drama and i may give the details some other time. he said he would be back, he took my phone too. i should get off in case he calls. good night or morning everyone. byeee.

Current Mood: jubilant